Bullying: Words Hurt A Fracture Club Member's Story

A Note From Fracture Club

This guest post was shared with us by Philip Feldwisch, a Fracture Club member currently recovering from an ankle injury. Philip is also a journalist and an anti-bullying advocate, and he wanted to share his own story with our community.

If you find yourself needing support, here are a few resources:

• StopBullying.gov — federal resources on preventing and addressing bullying

• PACER's National Bullying Prevention Center (pacer.org) — support and tools for kids, teens, and families

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — call or text 988, available anytime

Bullying: Words Hurt

Imagine being picked on for no other reason than someone doesn't like you. For victims of bullying, this is exactly how it is. I know because I was bullied for being different.

The bullying started in middle school. I was picked on because I was apparently "too smart," and I did not have a lot of friends. I thought that by going to a different high school, I could start over. I was wrong.

I was bullied again in high school. Instead of verbal bullying, people pushed me down stairs and threw water bottles at me. I did not know what I had done to deserve this. It was taking a toll on me, but I pushed through.

The bullying really got bad when I started college. As soon as I started college at Valparaiso University in August 2008, I was judged for having autism. It started out with kids drawing stuff on my whiteboard outside my dorm room. Instead of nice drawings, it was vulgar images. I honestly did not think that much of it since it didn't really bother me. As time went on, the bullying got worse and affected my academic performance.

Things only continued going downhill. By May 2010, my grade point average was below a 2.0 and I was put on academic probation. I also took more credit hours than I could effectively handle. By the time I started my third year in August 2010, the bullying became hell on earth. I had people calling me every name you can think of, calls from restricted numbers, and anonymous voice mails telling me just how worthless I was and that I was so creepy and weird.

It was so bad that by October, I wanted to end it all because nobody was doing anything to stop the bullying and was forced to deal with it on my own. I didn't because I met an angel in disguise over lunch one day that ultimately became my best friend. As soon as I told her my story, she was appalled that anyone would bully me. She saw me not as an outcast, but someone who was trying to fit in. She stuck with me and never left my side.

I had to take it upon myself to stay strong and push through the relentless torment and harassment. I felt completely alone and worthless. The more I tried to get help from the administration at Valparaiso University, the more I was pushed away. It was like nobody cared that I was being relentlessly bullied.

As the semester dragged on, my grades suffered heavily and I was even afraid to show my face around campus. I stayed in my dorm room and only showed my face when it was absolutely necessary or skipped class because I was afraid of being bullied and harassed by my classmates. My grades suffered and I spiraled into severe Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I went home for the semester break only to find out I was suspended for all of 2011. Now I got to spend the year at the local community college. I felt like I had let everyone, including my best friend, down. That was about the lowest I had ever felt in my life.

When I came back in January 2012, still suffering from PTSD, I knew I could go to her for support. She is the main reason I stayed strong and was able to slowly regain my self-confidence and self-esteem. While I am not fully recovered, I am still grateful to have her as a friend.

When it came time for me to finally graduate in December 2014, I immediately knew that she was going to be invited. As soon as I knew the details, I let her know so she could take off work that day. Even though she did not get to Valparaiso until early evening, I was still excited to see her.

As a token of our friendship, she gave me a card stating how proud she was, that I proved so many people wrong, and how our friendship would never die. My favorite part of the hand-written note was a quote that said "I have never been more excited to have been proven wrong. You are the epitome of hard work and success and I am so proud to call you a friend. Continue to dream and you will always be successful." She was so proud of me for not giving up and working toward getting my degree.

I fought back tears as I read the hand-written note. I was not expecting this from her at all. I thought she would just come to the commencement exercises and that would be it. To this day, our friendship still remains just as strong as it did when we first met in September 2010.

Bullying can affect anyone. The saying that sticks and stones can break bones, but words will never hurt is not true at all. Words hurt. They hurt me. The names I was called have left emotional scars that will never fully heal. If you can't say something nice, do not say it at all. Is it really that difficult to treat someone with respect and kindness? It must be since those who are different will be forced to know how they can't be normal.

Cyber-bullying is far too common today. Victims are made to feel so worthless that taking their own life is the only way to end the pain and suffering. How many more lives will be lost to bullying before something is done? How many more victims will have to suffer in silence?

I still suffer from nightmares and flashbacks because of the bullying I endured during college. The only person I had at the time to confide in was my best friend. I can tell you from personal experience that it is not funny at all to bully someone.

What's worse is that many schools claim to have an anti-bullying policy in place, yet don't do anything when victims speak out. This is not right. Victims should not have to suffer and feel nobody is there for them. It's no wonder suicide rates are so high when it comes to victims of bullying.

The effects of bullying are alarming. Victims also can suffer from low self-confidence and feel completely alone. One website that is a great resource for bullying victims is www.pacer.org. There are plenty of resources for both kids and teens to use. Even celebrities are coming forward about their own struggles with being bullied.

Pop singer and former Disney star Demi Lovato has publicly opened up about her experience with being bullied. Before getting professional help at Timberline Knolls, they struggled with self-harm, drug addiction, and bipolar disorder. Now, they are one of the most well-known and idolized celebrities among teens and young adults.

Why can't all schools put an anti-bullying policy in place and actually enforce it? A lot of times, the school does not want to spend the extra money or effort on it.

It's time that we take a stand and put an end to bullying for good.